Dic: sentence variety: Renaming and Amplifying the Subject

자료: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/GRAMMAR/sentences.htm


Consider the following sentence, the way information is appended and feels tacked on.

• Hartford continues to lose its industrial base, which means that more and more of its income base depends on companies whose primary business is paper shuffling.

Instead of using that clumsy "which clause," let's rename the event and follow it with a dependent clause that amplifies the added noun.

• Hartford continues to lose its industrial base, an economic catastrophe in the making [that is] characterized by an income base primarily dependent on companies engaged in paper shuffling.